There are two key driving motivations for my journey: 1) My personal desire to explore, see more of the world, have a big adventure, and learn more about myself in the process; and 2) My hope to make a small but tangible positive impact with my trip by sharing meaningful stories, and supporting organizations fighting for the rights and wellbeing of people with disabilities. I know that there is a balance where these two motivations enrich each other and make my journey more impactful both for myself and for the broader mission of my trip. Where the disability advocacy and sharing stories teaches me valuable lessons and gives purpose to my ride; and where my personal explorations and presence with the journey help me find my voice and be a more authentic activist and ally.
Images from my last few days riding in France
But, I realized I’ve put too much on my plate, and it’s pushed my two motivations gravely out of balance. I’ve fallen so far behind in the stories I want to share that I barely know how to catch up. And this constantly growing backlog of posts and ideas creates pressure that takes me away from being present or enjoying the journey itself. It’s a self-inflicted tug-of-war between these two now competing motives of my trip, and it feels like I’m being pulled apart in the middle…
My journey has made me confront the costs of my naïve over-ambition and wanting to do it all even just as one guy on his bike with far from unlimited time. Because at the end of the day, it’s just me. I’m the only one that’s put so much on my plate for my trip, and now I’m the only one that can change it and learn to find a better balance. I’m grateful my trip has held up this mirror to myself and the ways I cause myself stress and suffering, but now comes the hard part to really integrate these lessons, accept the limitations of my time and energy, and actually change my behavior to achieve what I want from my trip, and also enjoy it.
Sunrise in the southwest French hillsides
So, in the spirit of de-stressing myself and making real decisions to reduce the load for my trip, I’ve made the decision to prematurely close my fundraising campaign for Achilles International. I make this decision with quite a heavy heart, as I really believe in the mission and work of Achilles to break down barriers and make sport and exercise more accessible for people with disabilities, but I’ve realized that taking away my Achilles fundraiser will help me be able to approach the rest of my trip through Europe with more balance, calmness, and presence. Fundraising is surprisingly hard work, especially for someone like me that’s never done it before, and when I transitioned from raising money for ENIL to Achilles, it meant starting the whole process over again. Unfortunately, I just haven’t had the time or energy to dedicate to my Achilles fundraiser that it deserves, so I’ve decided to end my campaign. My plan now is to re-open my fundraiser for the European Network on Independent Living (ENIL), since I’ve already made good progress with it, and the rest of my ride will follow a similar pattern of meeting ENIL member organizations and sharing stories from the dedicated activists that are fighting to advance disability rights and independent living across Europe.
I still want to give a huge shoutout to Achilles International and all the amazing work they do! It was such a joy participating in the few Achilles workouts I’ve joined, and I truly connect with the mission of Achilles to make sport more accessible, to empower people with disabilities to shoot for their individual goals and finish lines, and to foster such supportive communities around a shared love of sports, where everyone with any and all kinds of abilities are welcome! I would still really encourage you to check out Achilles, see if you can volunteer or support a chapter near you (it’s so much fun, I promise!), and donate to support their life-changing work! The link to my fundraiser will stay open, and you can still donate to Achilles through my page here: https://give.achillesinternational.org/campaign/600125/donate
This certainly won’t be the end of my partnership and relationship with Achilles, and I hope I’ll be able to support Achilles again in meaningful ways in the future. No matter what: #goachilles
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